GET. OUT. OF. ME

So, it's been a while- what all has happened: Little man (who, yes is named, but NO we are not sharing) is still doing well, for the past two weeks he has been at "station" or "position 0" or exactly where he needs to be to make his debut- so no "dropping" or lightening here! Non stress tests show contractions each week, and I didn't ever realize that is what they were- I thought it was just baby stretching out, but it wasn't- so I've been trying to be more mindful of when I feel them. Last I was checked, cervix was soft, but no dilating yet- I am really hoping he comes soon. While his technical "due date" is still three weeks off- everything has been checked out fine, and I have the nurses and doctors blessings to go right on ahead and dilate!

 Two nights ago me and Hubby re-checked our bags (which I packed a while ago), and installed the carseat base in the truck.I wake up every morning hoping  to find that my water has broken... no such luck! Tomorrow is my last day of work for a while, and I am counting down those seconds! Between the drive, getting up in the morning and then being absolutely exhausted by the time I get home- I am very ready for a break. I am hoping that baby comes soon so I don't have too much longer to endure!

 I know that work isn't very happy that I am leaving two weeks sooner than expected, but at the end of the day- it IS my choice and I know the limits of my body- and they are being tested. I received an email that simply stated "let me know what I need to know before you leave"- just gives you a warm fuzzy feeling about how important you are in your workplace. I guess it is the norm anymore, and a very common feeling- but nonetheless, still not good.

 I still have a list of things to do before our little man arrives: Nemo curtains for his room, plastic on the windows for winter- new blinds, finish washing clothes, finish daddy's quilt, get everything cleaned- just seems the longer I sit and thing about what needs done, the longer the list gets, and there is never enough time in the day! So the extra time before hos arrival will help to get me a little less anxious about my to-do list that will only grow longer after his arrival.

 Basically- I now understand why everyone says the last trimester is the worst. Every pain, cramp and odd feeling makes you question whether something is wrong- is it time to go in, is baby coming soon, am I ready... Just an endless game of guessing- and there is no one answer for any of it- at the end of the day only baby knows when he is coming and he is pretty good at keeping secrets!!!

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