See the Good in Everything

So after being admitted and right before the holiday and over a weekend, you can imagine that tests were only getting done in emergency cases. His Upper GI was scheduled for Monday as was his EEG. The neurologist also ordered an MRI. Dr Kera came to see him Saturday and was there when the doctor made her rounds and asked some questions and suggested the MRI try and be done without anesthesia if possible. His EEG came back normal, and the GI showed that while he had reflux everything was the correct shape size and position. Unfortunately with reflux, it meant that he would have to have the MRI under anesthesia. It was also determined by this point that my little man would in fact need surgery. No matter what the cause of the problem, he had a problem and it would take a while to figure out how to fix it- whether that was surgery for a spinal issue (that the MRI would show), or therapy. Surgery was scheduled for Wednesday and we were told that we could get discharged Monday night and c...

While waiting for the swallow study, we decided to get our Christmas tree- Caden helped daddy cut it down :) And then we went home to decorate! So after gifts were bought and the tree decorated, we went for our swallow study- the Friday before Christmas. Got to radiology, and even though daddy was mad the appointment wasn't during a time he could make it, it worked out because only one parent is allowed back to the test. We waited and waited and little man was getting antsy- he hadn't eaten since ten that morning and his appointment was two! Finally we went back and they placed him on a modified baby seat and handed me a bottle of barium to feed him, Now thank goodness babies have no taste buds because daddy and I BOTH had to have a barium swallow test and that stuff is NASTY! So he drinks some, they thicken it thin it and have me move his head and then the test is done. I asked if I could give him his bottle and they said I couldn't until the radiologist came back...

My how time has gotten away from me! It's been over a month and as the New Years approaches, I figured I would enticed Caden with the vibrating swing to put some updates on here before I forget them! So, after trying the gas drops, Caden got very constipated and was an unhappy little boy- so we nixed those and put him back on straight formula to get things moving. As his two month appointment approached, I scheduled another visit with the lactation specialist during a time that daddy could also make it so he could hear what she had to say. It didn't seem like nursing was getting any better, and almost worse! With the last lactation appointment being a little out of the ordinary as far as him eating well went.  We got to the appointment and tried to get him to nurse. It seemed like what he was able to get out he let fall right out the other side of his mouth- after about 25 minutes, he was weighed and we were back to the wonderful 2cc of actual milk that he ended up with. Da...

So we made it to our three week mark! The traumatic tongue clipping incident seems to have done its job and Caden is eating much better, although still having problems and nursing is pretty non-existent. We went to his second checkup to see if he had started gaining weight and * Hallelujah * he is up to Six pounds Six ounces!!! That is four since last week and two since he was born- both good signs. Also, since he eats breast milk almost exclusively (we give him one of the pre-mixed formula bottles every once in a while for late night feedings), it means that I am doing something right! No additives necessary!He managed not to pee through his entire outfit this time also. We met with the lactation specialist later in the day and found that after the little surgery and with the help of a shield- he was able to get 12cc from nursing! In NICU he would try for thirty minutes and only get about 2cc, so this is also a very good sign. The bad part is that 12cc is a far cry from the 2-3 o...

So two weeks plus one day we went to the ENT for Mr. Caden to get his tongue clipped. Daddy thankfully was able to make it, and we made the trek to the doctor's office. We got in, saw the nurse, saw the resident and then saw the doctor. He said it was a quick procedure, just a little snip a few drops of blood, he will cry and then eat and everything will be fine. The big question was who would hold him, and I quickly popped into the seat to hold my little man while the evil doctor came at him with scissors. I couldn't watch- and have never heard him scream so much, and then it was over- the screaming continued and the doctor told us to try and feed him to help the bleeding stop- at this point he had gone through two gauze pad changes! My son was pouring blood out like a horror film! Doctor left the room and said he would be back to check him and that the bleeding would stop... it didn't. Daddy went out into the hall to get someone and the doctor came back in and got more ...

It is hard to believe that my little boy is a whole two weeks old today!! He has changed our lives so much that I can't even remember what it was like before him-sleep being included in that statement. He had his first check-up yesterday and the doctor said that overall he is doing very well, but he is still a bit on the "peanut" side and has only managed to put one ounce back on since he left the hospital. So we have another appointment in a week to see if he has gained anymore- no sure what the plan of action will be if he hasn't and I don't want to think about it either. The other big problem is that he is tongue tied- the little flap under his tongue is longer than it should be and rather than cupping up towards the roof of his mouth and making suction to eat- it just flaps up and down- so he gets alot of air and not alot of food for a massive amount of effort. It makes feeding times incredibly long and nursing impossible. Along with that, we are pretty sure...

Wednesday came, and I had a million questions and thoughts. I called the nursery to see what the doctor had to say on his morning rounds- and it was determined that they would see how well he ate and how comfortable I was with feeding him and if all went well he would be home for the night. It was a step in the right direction. My dads girlfriend came to get me and spent the day at the hospital going through my daily routine. About 3pm it was decided that we would in fact be bringing Caden home! Daddy had a test after work and then class- so he wouldn't be there for baby's first car ride. It made me sad but I was still elated to be bringing him home and I tried to look at the good side. We made it home- with friends to greet me so I wasn't alone until daddy came home. It was a nerve racking night- I did the typical "check that he is breathing" every ten minutes and by morning I was beyond exhausted but it was worth it.  My sister came out to stay with me...

I was discharged on Friday- and since the floor was filling up- I was not allowed to stay an extra night as a guest and would be going home without my little boy.  After the nurse told me that I couldn't stay the extra night it was like a piece of my heart had been ripped out. Leaving my little boy that night was one of the hardest things I had to do- just thinking about it still brings tears to my eyes. Daddy drove home reassuring me the whole way that everything would be ok and that our little boy would soon be home. We visited every day- and some days dad would leave early and I would have someone take me home so that I could get extra time in. We fell into quite a routine. At the hospital by noon- feeding at noon, cuddles from daddy, pumping, change, feeding at three- cuddles from daddy while mom pumped- down to the cafeteria for lunch, it was quite a schedule. With Monday being a holiday- daddy was off, and Tuesday was alreday covered by someone- so until Wednesday we would ...

Thursday morning daddy and I went down to check on our little champ. He was being quite fussy and his stats were kinda all over the place. The doctor and his respiratory therapist was there and they decided that maybe his current frustration was due to the fact that he was done with the tube. They decided to take it out and see how he did. So the tube came out- and after a little spell of up and down- his vitals stabilized and they were right. He was telling them that he was done. After the tube came out, I finally got my mommy time with him.  The rest of the day went pretty well and he was able to try nursing and we had some skin to skin time. I could have been there with him all day. At one point his temp dropped a bit- so they had to heat his box a little more- but his Oxygen levels stayed where they needed to be, and our big concerns were getting his respiratory rate down and getting his to eat (which would lead to the tube coming out of his nose).  Everything was g...

After a short two hours in the outside world, Caden, our perfect happy little boy was taken to the nursery to get checked out and cleaned up. A nurse came in shortly to let us know that regrettably, Caden was breathing a little faster than he should have been and that he would be moved to the special care nursery (NICU) to be evaluated. Usually babies are there about 24 hours and then are good to go back to mom and the regular nursery- and he just needed a little extra attention for a few good hours.  Dad had just left to go home and shower and gather himself. I called him, still calm and collected, and still surrounded by family. I was worried sick about my little boy and my dad took me in my wheelchair later to see him in his incubator. To sit and only make contact through a little hole with your baby is about the most helpless feeling ever. His little chest was going at what seemed like a million miles a minute. The nurse explained that his box was helping regulate his o...

After being told I was on my way in for an emergent C-Section, my hair was placed under a beautiful cap, my legs were placed in orange leggins to keep pressure on them, and hubby dearest was given his own set of scrubs. The reality was setting in.  We didn't have a birth plan- I know the planner that I am, I did not even attempt to spell out this event in my life. I wanted a healthy baby at the end of the day and I was all about the drugs. A C-Sect is something that we had discussed but never really thought would happen. Since we had sent family home at ten the night before and they were all planning on coming back up the next morning- we didn't see it necessary (or feasible!) to call everyone back up. I would be in surgery then recovery and by the time I got out it would be the time that people were planning on coming back anyways. Since my dad had just landed from a long business trip- I had Derek text him that I was going in for a section. All other family members wer...

It has been one CRAZY week- so let's start where all stories start... at the beginning.  A little disclaimer: I am quite hormonal , and again everything said is simply my opinion- every story has more than one side, and this is my side. I know others may have other impressions or feelings about the events- but this isn't their story- so you will just have to deal and realize that I am in fact entitled to my opinion- we do live in the US and you are an adult so keep your judgements and comments to yourself! Monday morning- after tossing and turning all night and no less than twenty bathroom breaks dad finally left for work at his part time department- not his favorite place but luckily the company for the day wasn't as bad as it could have been. He told me good bye and asked if I felt any better to which I responded not really- but since Friday was my last day of work I really didn't have too much on my agenda for the day. Actually- that is a lie- I wanted to sort th...

So, it's been a while- what all has happened: Little man (who, yes is named, but NO we are not sharing) is still doing well, for the past two weeks he has been at "station" or "position 0" or exactly where he needs to be to make his debut- so no "dropping" or lightening here! Non stress tests show contractions each week, and I didn't ever realize that is what they were- I thought it was just baby stretching out, but it wasn't- so I've been trying to be more mindful of when I feel them. Last I was checked, cervix was soft, but no dilating yet- I am really hoping he comes soon. While his technical "due date" is still three weeks off- everything has been checked out fine, and I have the nurses and doctors blessings to go right on ahead and dilate! Two nights ago me and Hubby re-checked our bags (which I packed a while ago), and installed the carseat base in the truck.I wake up every morning hoping  to find that my water has broken....

There is a saying : The calm before the storm , this does not apply to a pregnant person. Nesting is anything but calm. I have been non stop lately- went through all of my winter and summer clothes, sorted out what was maternity, what I KNOW will never fit again, what I think I can wear over the winter and packed up the stuff for summer. I have rearranged the baby's closet twenty times, rearranged my closet and the spare bedroom closet, washed dishes, sewed curtains, sorted coupons, folded and re-folded blankets, moved the rocking chair plugged in and played with the baby monitors- I really have been non stop. At one point- hubby looked over at me and said- sit down, you are making me nervous!!! So- how exactly do you "test" the baby monitor? Well- Little Miss Vienna has decided that 2am is a good time to wake up. Last weekend she was up all of Friday night. I took her outside, yelled at her, sprayed her, put her bark collar on her, changed the pad in her cage- just wou...