A little buzz kill

So if I had any sliver of sanity left, I watched it go out the window yesterday in what has been one of the worst and scary experiences of this pregnancy. Yesterday morning after getting up, letting Vienna out, cleaning her cage, getting ready for work and then making the amazing trek to work- I realized the lack of little man. I could feel him if I pushed on my stomach- but movements were none. Now, trying not to go into full fledged panic mode, I figured he was just a little out of it and would wake up soon to continue his routine of disrupting my breaths and testing the strength of my bladder. I was up and down at work all day- when the state requires you get certain reporting in, it tends to put a damper on things, I drank cold water, cold chocolate milk, hot chocolate, ate a candy bar, a cheese stick and went up and down the stairs a few times, and by the time lunch came, not only was I not hungry- but I was about two seconds from an admit to the psych ward.

After lunch I texted the hubby to let him know what was up and he suggested I call the doctor- which I felt much better about doing after he suggested (see kidney incident several months ago and his downplay of needing to go in to see anyone). The nurse told me to head to triage. Not news I wanted. She said that all the things I had tried would be what they would have me do before coming in, and that I needed to be monitored to see why he had no activity: now read between the mom in full freak out mode lines- at the hospital they can take care of the worst case scenario as opposed to the doctor having to tell you and then send you there.

Longest drive of my life... Tried very hard not to completely lose it, but that deep scary feeling just lingered. After getting lost on the way to the hospital, the triage nurse was able to quickly put the worst of my fears to rest as she found his heart beat- pounding away at 140 and still in his abnormally low spot. My blood pressure was (not surprisingly) elevated, and I was sent back to be strapped up for a non-stress test. Which ironically enough is what I start having weekly NEXT week. They listened to his heart for a while and then she came in with a little buzzer to wake him up. Well- he was non-stop after that. Twenty minutes in and I was assured that he passed in record time. The resident came in and did a quick ultrasound and could see him practicing breathing and wiggling away. I have never been happier to see such a blurry moving image in my life.

The doc on staff came in (whom I wasn't a huge fan of), and told me that sometimes it happens, and if it does again to drink something cold and sweet and lay down for an hour and if I can't count four movements of any kind to come back in. Sometimes it is just from me doing too much and all he needs is for my body to settle down and relax. 

Apparently he just needed a little jolting to let him know that in no way is it cool to scare me like that, and in two months when I am writing yet another check for the ER visit deductible, I will be sure to tell his little sleeping butt!

SO- Thank you little Squishy for once again seeing just how far my sanity can be stretched. Tuesday I will get to see the doctor or NP that I actually like and get their suggestions on how to handle things in the future. It is getting to the point that my long drive to work, and then the distance that I am from the hospital while at work will be an issue. Also, not that I work at a fitness club, but the trip down the two flights of stairs to the bathroom and the walking around the office makes me feel beyond exhausted and run down by the end of the day- at which point I have another near hour drive home to a needy puppy and an empty stove. The hiatus from work may be coming a little sooner than planned- I'd rather it be work leaving sooner than little man!