The things I've learned: Pregnancy Edition
So, quite a few people I know have turned up preggers recently... it was bound to happen, and the old saying that at a certain point in your life everyone you know marries and then has kids- it's true! In honor of that, here are a few things that I can remember form pregnancy that maybe I wish I would have known before now...
- Seabands- they are awesome! For those that have weak stomachs, they work wonders. Not the prettiest things ever, but they get the job done. Also- ask for a nausea script early- 'tis better to have it and not need it than be so sick you can't stand on a Saturday morning... makes for long miserable weekends.
- No matter what anyone says- you KNOW your body best! When I had a (HORRIFIC) kidney infection, my husband was pretty against me going in because of the cost of the hospital visit and my history with having un-diagnosable pain. Well, a three day hospital stay later and I was right- yes, stick it hubby!! You will get to a point that you fear every little movement, or lack thereof- and hospital visits and doctor visits aren't free, but let's face it- you didn't get pregnant to save money...
- Take pictures, journal and make notes of what is going on around you and with your body. It will be nice towards the end to look back at when you wished you had a visible belly and when the baby is screaming to know that at one point you were blissfully unaware of what you had created inside you! My husband saw no point in taking belly pics until about 12 weeks- he kept saying there was no point because nothing was there, but despite his disdain I made him snap one every week, up until week thirty seven- when we got a day behind and then he arrived!
- Dads just don't get it until the kid is born... and even then you still wonder. They say they are excited and they tell people they're excited- but they will never be as excited as you, and some of the crazy things you want to do: make a registry, pick out a going home outfit, take pregnancy pictures- they will think are stupid. Now if you have a trained one, they will keep these comments inside, smile and do what you say- if you have one that is untrained, or just a little (lot) think headed, they will vocalize these things and you'll get mad, pissed, upset and possible want to throw things. Just tell yourself he doesn't know any better and call someone who WILL be excited to share these things with you.
- Drama, Drama, Drama- as you will read in ten million different places on pregnancy blogs and weekly updates- everyone and their brother has advice for you (myself obviously included in that category- you'll be here one day soon). Take what you want and ignore the rest. Mother in laws can be the most detrimental- they mean well, but you are in no position to take well meaning people. You don't care how they did it or how grateful they were that their in-laws basically lived with them and it was awesome- you want to have your own family and you want it to be yours- not theirs. Husbands will also not understand this- or that no matter what they say- you will always choose your family and friends as a support over theirs. At the end of the day- the ones that diapered you will probably be the only ones your are comfortable discussing constipation with (and you will!) and all others need to deal and give you space. Along those same lines- speak up- if you don't want something, then stand for it- and if you do want something make sure it happens. I love that we have maternity photos- I wish my husband was in more of them and that he would have seen then that it was something I wanted. I wish he would have cared about the little things like picking out a going home outfit- again, just smile and play along! I regret not standing up to him and insisting that his mother not go to the hospital with me. I understand the concern he had, but he put me in a bad situation that I had no way out of. If I said no I was being mean, and obviously her being there is still causing repercussions in our relationship. At some point you have to pull the pregnancy card- I am pregnant and this is what I WANT- and nothing else matters.
- Baby Registry- Listen to input from others, but allow yourself to learn some things on your own. I was told don't waste money on a diaper pail (well, I have a husband that can barely change dirty diapers, so the smell in the room with just a plain old trash bag just doesn't work), don't buy a ton of newborn sized clothes (at two months Caden was finally out of newborn clothes), just keep that swing/carrier/toy that Aunt Sally bought you'll want it one day (or you will wish you would have returned it and bought what you had on your registry). When it comes to registries- know people will question and comment and even buy things that they "just know" you need and remark that what you had registered for just wasn't right. That is the beauty of returns!
-Never enough blankets, burp cloths, socks or onesies... 'nuff said
- Breast Pump- You will have breast feeding shoved down your throat.... yes it is the best for you and baby, you get a connection, yadda yadda- end of the day- it is a personal decision, and it is no more anyones business than who you voted for! Having a baby seems to invite the question of "are you nursing?"- well, ya know, I wouldn't call you to tell you about buying a new sweater, so why do you think I would share with you that I am nursing. You will have to find your own way to dodge the question or answer quickly and change the subject. Should you decide to nurse- don't waste your time with any pump other than a Medela... just don't. Yes they are expensive, and proven to work! If you are tight on cash check Ebay or Craigslist for one and replace all tubing. Here's a hint- most hospitals give you tubing while you are there and using their pumps (which are often also Medela). Invest in heat/cool pads- I found that Avent had a good set that came with soft purple covers that snapped together so you could wear them while pumping. Also, get a dual pump bra- yes it looks funny- and I doubt you will be walking around the house in it or doing anything while wearing it (as the pic on the box shows)- but it frees up your hands and saves your back from hunching. Finally- get a pack of reusable pads and a box of disposable. Someone told me they swore by the cotton reusable ones- I hated them. I woke up soaked, and then when I got a yeast infection I had to wash them separately from everything else in scolding water to keep the bacteria from spreading (not fun- and not all that uncommon).
-Formula- Sign up for Similac, Gerber, Enfamil, P&G, Pampers, Huggies, etc- they send samples and coupons. You never know when you will need them.
- Pregnancy Pillow- Loved mine, and despite the claims, I saw a HUGE difference between it and my body pillow. Zulily.com was a great site for maternity clothes, baby clothes, supplies, ideas, etc. It's free (and will send emails everyday that I just deleted when I wasn't in need of something).
- WATER WATER WATER!!! Especially if you will be pregnant during any summer/ warm months. You can't drink enough!
- Your opinion- you can be harsh right now, and as much as you would like to comment that others that are having children should not be- just don't. The teen that is on pregnancy #3, or the girl who doesn't know who the baby daddy is, or the ones that are expecting despite planning ahead of time to be on government programs to help them pay for their kid... just ignore them and keep the comments between you and yourself- you don't need the backlash or the aggravation
Keep in mind that you are making a person. You are allowed to be grumpy, moody, happy, sad, anxious and indecisive. Your husband/significant other will not always understand and you have to have an outlet for that too- for me it was this blog. I printed off all the posts towards the end of the pregnancy, gave him the binder and said that he should read them so he knows what I was going through... he didn't read all of them- but I think he did get a little bit of a better perspective. Also, some people just won't come around until the end when the little bundle of joy arrives. Some people will never come around, despite how much you could have used them and relied on them- and people like that just are not worth the time it takes to worry about...
- Seabands- they are awesome! For those that have weak stomachs, they work wonders. Not the prettiest things ever, but they get the job done. Also- ask for a nausea script early- 'tis better to have it and not need it than be so sick you can't stand on a Saturday morning... makes for long miserable weekends.
- No matter what anyone says- you KNOW your body best! When I had a (HORRIFIC) kidney infection, my husband was pretty against me going in because of the cost of the hospital visit and my history with having un-diagnosable pain. Well, a three day hospital stay later and I was right- yes, stick it hubby!! You will get to a point that you fear every little movement, or lack thereof- and hospital visits and doctor visits aren't free, but let's face it- you didn't get pregnant to save money...
- Take pictures, journal and make notes of what is going on around you and with your body. It will be nice towards the end to look back at when you wished you had a visible belly and when the baby is screaming to know that at one point you were blissfully unaware of what you had created inside you! My husband saw no point in taking belly pics until about 12 weeks- he kept saying there was no point because nothing was there, but despite his disdain I made him snap one every week, up until week thirty seven- when we got a day behind and then he arrived!
- Dads just don't get it until the kid is born... and even then you still wonder. They say they are excited and they tell people they're excited- but they will never be as excited as you, and some of the crazy things you want to do: make a registry, pick out a going home outfit, take pregnancy pictures- they will think are stupid. Now if you have a trained one, they will keep these comments inside, smile and do what you say- if you have one that is untrained, or just a little (lot) think headed, they will vocalize these things and you'll get mad, pissed, upset and possible want to throw things. Just tell yourself he doesn't know any better and call someone who WILL be excited to share these things with you.
- Drama, Drama, Drama- as you will read in ten million different places on pregnancy blogs and weekly updates- everyone and their brother has advice for you (myself obviously included in that category- you'll be here one day soon). Take what you want and ignore the rest. Mother in laws can be the most detrimental- they mean well, but you are in no position to take well meaning people. You don't care how they did it or how grateful they were that their in-laws basically lived with them and it was awesome- you want to have your own family and you want it to be yours- not theirs. Husbands will also not understand this- or that no matter what they say- you will always choose your family and friends as a support over theirs. At the end of the day- the ones that diapered you will probably be the only ones your are comfortable discussing constipation with (and you will!) and all others need to deal and give you space. Along those same lines- speak up- if you don't want something, then stand for it- and if you do want something make sure it happens. I love that we have maternity photos- I wish my husband was in more of them and that he would have seen then that it was something I wanted. I wish he would have cared about the little things like picking out a going home outfit- again, just smile and play along! I regret not standing up to him and insisting that his mother not go to the hospital with me. I understand the concern he had, but he put me in a bad situation that I had no way out of. If I said no I was being mean, and obviously her being there is still causing repercussions in our relationship. At some point you have to pull the pregnancy card- I am pregnant and this is what I WANT- and nothing else matters.
- Baby Registry- Listen to input from others, but allow yourself to learn some things on your own. I was told don't waste money on a diaper pail (well, I have a husband that can barely change dirty diapers, so the smell in the room with just a plain old trash bag just doesn't work), don't buy a ton of newborn sized clothes (at two months Caden was finally out of newborn clothes), just keep that swing/carrier/toy that Aunt Sally bought you'll want it one day (or you will wish you would have returned it and bought what you had on your registry). When it comes to registries- know people will question and comment and even buy things that they "just know" you need and remark that what you had registered for just wasn't right. That is the beauty of returns!
-Never enough blankets, burp cloths, socks or onesies... 'nuff said
- Breast Pump- You will have breast feeding shoved down your throat.... yes it is the best for you and baby, you get a connection, yadda yadda- end of the day- it is a personal decision, and it is no more anyones business than who you voted for! Having a baby seems to invite the question of "are you nursing?"- well, ya know, I wouldn't call you to tell you about buying a new sweater, so why do you think I would share with you that I am nursing. You will have to find your own way to dodge the question or answer quickly and change the subject. Should you decide to nurse- don't waste your time with any pump other than a Medela... just don't. Yes they are expensive, and proven to work! If you are tight on cash check Ebay or Craigslist for one and replace all tubing. Here's a hint- most hospitals give you tubing while you are there and using their pumps (which are often also Medela). Invest in heat/cool pads- I found that Avent had a good set that came with soft purple covers that snapped together so you could wear them while pumping. Also, get a dual pump bra- yes it looks funny- and I doubt you will be walking around the house in it or doing anything while wearing it (as the pic on the box shows)- but it frees up your hands and saves your back from hunching. Finally- get a pack of reusable pads and a box of disposable. Someone told me they swore by the cotton reusable ones- I hated them. I woke up soaked, and then when I got a yeast infection I had to wash them separately from everything else in scolding water to keep the bacteria from spreading (not fun- and not all that uncommon).
-Formula- Sign up for Similac, Gerber, Enfamil, P&G, Pampers, Huggies, etc- they send samples and coupons. You never know when you will need them.
- Pregnancy Pillow- Loved mine, and despite the claims, I saw a HUGE difference between it and my body pillow. Zulily.com was a great site for maternity clothes, baby clothes, supplies, ideas, etc. It's free (and will send emails everyday that I just deleted when I wasn't in need of something).
- WATER WATER WATER!!! Especially if you will be pregnant during any summer/ warm months. You can't drink enough!
- Your opinion- you can be harsh right now, and as much as you would like to comment that others that are having children should not be- just don't. The teen that is on pregnancy #3, or the girl who doesn't know who the baby daddy is, or the ones that are expecting despite planning ahead of time to be on government programs to help them pay for their kid... just ignore them and keep the comments between you and yourself- you don't need the backlash or the aggravation
Keep in mind that you are making a person. You are allowed to be grumpy, moody, happy, sad, anxious and indecisive. Your husband/significant other will not always understand and you have to have an outlet for that too- for me it was this blog. I printed off all the posts towards the end of the pregnancy, gave him the binder and said that he should read them so he knows what I was going through... he didn't read all of them- but I think he did get a little bit of a better perspective. Also, some people just won't come around until the end when the little bundle of joy arrives. Some people will never come around, despite how much you could have used them and relied on them- and people like that just are not worth the time it takes to worry about...
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