A year

It has been a year since my divorce was finalized... a year.


Do you know what can happen in a year? 

You can fall in love

You can move into your first apartment

You can rescue a kitten

You can survive your first "I love you" after the last one broke your heart

You can get defeated by those closest to you

You can watch your ex-husband move on and be happy

You can survive (barely) your first holiday without your kid

You can watch your life start to crumble as the facade of happiness that you put on so well starts to fade away

That "love" you thought you had, you realize was more of just a band-aid over a gaping wound, or a sip of water after a few years in the desert.

You can watch your ex schedule a date for the same day you are moving out of the apartment, and then put his toothbrush in the toilet and glitter in the towels (not my finest moment)

You can pack up and move, again, too embarrassed and hurt to count how many times this makes

You can spend 2 months unemployed

You can feel yourself slip back into that dark place

You can get a new job that actually fulfills you (yes, that is really a thing)

You can end up back at that same crossroad that you were, just a mere 12 months prior.

Funny thing, is that to me, all of this was MY WORLD, it is what mattered, and it is all that went on in my universe- everyone else is doing the same. The day that I was blocking my dad in every possible way and form of communication and social media, someone may have been burying their own parents, wishing for just five more minutes. 

If nothing else, this last year has shown me that nothing is for certain, and that your life is just that- it is yours. I have certainly made my fair share of mistakes, and I am 100% certain that I will keep making mistakes, but I will keep moving on. I have had so many more glimpses of that happiness that I used to believe was all just made up that now I know it is attainable.

It is easy to sit on the other side and say that things will get better, because, right now, I am far from outside of the storm- but I know what some of my worst days looked like, and I know that I have people there for me, so my bad days will happen, and I will move on. 

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