Out of the Woods
Literally and less Figuratively
So the birthday weekend away was in fact a cabin trip in the woods of Amish Country.
The levels of commitment to his little white lie were pretty extravagant- including the hubby borrowing tents and purchasing gallons of water for me to do dishes over the fire. Lucky for him, the only fire was a gas one controlled by a remote with a TV atop! It was a nice little cabin with a picturesque woods backdrop and a cheesy heart shaped hot-tub. No worries, number two is no where in site!
Before the swooning thoughts of "how lucky" and " oh- everything is ok now" go burrowing, yes, the weekend was a pleasant escape- but it was an escape, not a fix or a discussion of the issues surrounding the situation that is the stalemate that "we" have become. The fact that given a romantic environment and a hot tub we can still have a spark and ignore all surrounding factors proves that yes, we are still human and don't hate one another- yay! Dialogue and communication and compromise and understanding need to be present in both parties for forward movement.
I found a very compelling article that spoke volumes to me, Why I Wasn't Ready For Modern Marriage. Don't worry, I'm not insinuating anything, you need to read it, and then read the article that he refers to in his piece. It is easy to say that people have changed over the years and that marriages have subsequently changed. The roles of men and women have undoubtedly shifted, and while it is easy for someone to sit back and "say" that things should be 50/50- in most cases it just doesn't happen. Some of us are still rooted in our traditional ideals, or our subconscious thoughts of what a husband or a wife should do.
No matter how many times I am told, I am notoriously horrible at remembering to check the oil in my car until after it is turned on. Since my car has an oil leak , this is not a good thing. My husband is horrible at thinking of anything having to do with grocery shopping or dinner and its components. Even in these small examples, there needs to be compromise- not blame. With the even bigger picture being, how do we project onto our son that there doesn't need to be "roles" assigned to mom/dad/husband/wife/boy/girl?
So the birthday weekend away was in fact a cabin trip in the woods of Amish Country.
The levels of commitment to his little white lie were pretty extravagant- including the hubby borrowing tents and purchasing gallons of water for me to do dishes over the fire. Lucky for him, the only fire was a gas one controlled by a remote with a TV atop! It was a nice little cabin with a picturesque woods backdrop and a cheesy heart shaped hot-tub. No worries, number two is no where in site!
Before the swooning thoughts of "how lucky" and " oh- everything is ok now" go burrowing, yes, the weekend was a pleasant escape- but it was an escape, not a fix or a discussion of the issues surrounding the situation that is the stalemate that "we" have become. The fact that given a romantic environment and a hot tub we can still have a spark and ignore all surrounding factors proves that yes, we are still human and don't hate one another- yay! Dialogue and communication and compromise and understanding need to be present in both parties for forward movement.
I found a very compelling article that spoke volumes to me, Why I Wasn't Ready For Modern Marriage. Don't worry, I'm not insinuating anything, you need to read it, and then read the article that he refers to in his piece. It is easy to say that people have changed over the years and that marriages have subsequently changed. The roles of men and women have undoubtedly shifted, and while it is easy for someone to sit back and "say" that things should be 50/50- in most cases it just doesn't happen. Some of us are still rooted in our traditional ideals, or our subconscious thoughts of what a husband or a wife should do.
No matter how many times I am told, I am notoriously horrible at remembering to check the oil in my car until after it is turned on. Since my car has an oil leak , this is not a good thing. My husband is horrible at thinking of anything having to do with grocery shopping or dinner and its components. Even in these small examples, there needs to be compromise- not blame. With the even bigger picture being, how do we project onto our son that there doesn't need to be "roles" assigned to mom/dad/husband/wife/boy/girl?
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