The definition of "Family"

My grandmother passed away last night. If you follow the "traditional" roles of family- she was my ex-step-grandmother, since she was the mom of my mothers ex-husband. They divorced over 20 years ago, and yet to me, she will always be Grandma Y, he will always be Grandpa Y, and I'll always have six extra aunts and uncles and a stepfather. My mom has a new husband, and while he is a wonderful man, one of the best grandfathers that I could have ever asked for my son, he isn't my stepdad. My mothers first husband was my other "dad", I was his bunny hopper and for the first few years of my life I didn't know that he was to treat me any different than his children.

My own father had a family of his own too, and it was a stark contrast to what I had at my mothers house, as much as I know it hurts my dad now looking back. I called my mom when I visited my father on the weekend asking to come back home and even ran away once- just on the weekends that I visited. I knew I wasn't wanted by my fathers other half, I could feel it. 

Over the twenty years since my mother divorced her first husband, I've still been a part of his family, something that has left more of an impact on me than I could ever explain. Family, through blood, friendship, or marriage is one of the most important things to me and this family was one of the first ones to show it to me. No matter the circumstances, I mattered. Something that I want to pass onto my own son, and that I want him to have one day- that kind of unconditional love and bond. 

Beyond grandma & grandpa keeping me in the family- their children did too, even when my stepdad remarried and divorced, his second wife stayed in contact and took care of my brother and sister (and now niece), as if nothing had changed. The values in the family are just unheard of in todays society. I remember going to holidays and all the jokes, or when we were young and grandma read Santa had the sniffles to my brother who then insisted on reading "Santa had the nipples" when he got home, or how even after 50 years of marriage grandpa seemed to stand strong by her side. 

I missed their anniversary party because I was in the middle of moving, and all the times I meant to go out and visit time just seemed to slip away. So I suppose this is a reminder to slow down, and remember what I have, be grateful for all that she taught me over the years and all the family I have gained, even through these trying times, because life truly does go by fast.