See the Good in Everything

Some days... It seems like most of my days anymore, that simple task, breathing, feels like a monumental task. By definition, depression is a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.  After having my son, it was easily diagnosed as post partum, despite the years that I hid my anxieties beforehand. Unless you have experienced the darkness, the feeling of simply gasping for a breath when in fact there is nothing there physically taking it from you, it is so very hard to understand. A simple question like "Where do you see yourself in five years?" may as well be a question about the Bermuda Triangle, just surviving the day can be considered a victory.  The past few weeks have been some of the worst. I feel like I tell myself that every so many weeks, and with each mantra, I feel a little more defeated. The issue with depression is that you lose reasoning, the ab...

My grandmother passed away last night. If you follow the "traditional" roles of family- she was my ex-step-grandmother, since she was the mom of my mothers ex-husband. They divorced over 20 years ago, and yet to me, she will always be Grandma Y, he will always be Grandpa Y, and I'll always have six extra aunts and uncles and a stepfather. My mom has a new husband, and while he is a wonderful man, one of the best grandfathers that I could have ever asked for my son, he isn't my stepdad. My mothers first husband was my other "dad", I was his bunny hopper and for the first few years of my life I didn't know that he was to treat me any different than his children. My own father had a family of his own too, and it was a stark contrast to what I had at my mothers house, as much as I know it hurts my dad now looking back. I called my mom when I visited my father on the weekend asking to come back home and even ran away once- just on the weekends that I vis...